I decided to write this post after a couple of encounters I had with dear friends of mine. This is going to be a longer post, so bear with me. I promise it’s worth the read.

This past year, I handed out homemade lip balm as a Christmas present for many of my friends and colleagues. One of my friends looked at the lip balm and asked if I made it. I said that I had and she looked at me and said “That is amazing. I feel like a loser, I haven’t made anything like this.” She seemed genuinely sad about this. It broke my heart. NO ONE should EVER feel like a loser because they don’t make homemade lip balm.

I’ve seen other friends have “nervous breakdowns” (their words, not mine) in the pursuit of perfection. I’m not talking about crying or being stressed out (which is not to be taken lightly either), but severe depression and health problems that ended up needing medical intervention.

In today’s society, there is an immense pressure to live up to the lofty standards of perfection. It is so pervasive, that many people don’t even realize that they are being influenced. It is all over social media and the internet. Simply googling something like “diy lavender latte”, brings up beautiful pictures of a perfectly staged latte with the sun streaming through a window at just the right angle. Beautiful! You feel inspired!

So you try making that same thing at home and you look at your latte in a regular old mug , no sunlight and the foam looks a little weird (if you even managed to get any foam). It tastes great, but it doesn’t look perfect. It’s easy to feel just a little bit… less.

The fact is, almost everything you see on the internet, tv , in magazines, or while reading blogs is carefully staged and edited to look professional and beautiful. It draws you in. It makes you want to be like that or make something that looks like that.

However, when you don’t look like that (your kids aren’t perfectly dressed, your hair is a mess) or your meal doesn’t look exactly like the picture, it’s easy to feel discouraged. The fact is, I can guarantee you that real life doesn’t look like this for 99 percent of the people out there.

I’ve seen posts on blogs where mothers talk about their morning routine. It usually looks something like this “ We get up, make breakfast, eat as a family. Then I get the kids off to school and check my cleaning supplies and see if I need to make any. My two youngest are still at home, so we play, have a snack, they help clean etc, etc, etc” Then you see pictures of children- dressed perfectly, hair combed and neat, sitting in a perfectly clean house , at a perfectly clean table, making some sort of craft while mom is off to the side, with hair and make up done, smiling benevolently at her children.

Real life is your child (or pet )waking you up at 5 am because they are hungry, stepping in cat puke on the way to try and wrangle said individual into clothes, while they are whining and saying “I don’t like that shirt”. Then you give up on combing the hair because you’re pretty sure that your neighbors think you are probably murdering your child with all of the screaming going on. When you finally get your child to the table and put food out, it inevitable ends up getting knocked on the floor by accident, and you scramble to clean it up before the dog does. Once everyone is sitting at the table, it’s a challenge just to keep them sitting “ Sit on your bum, please. No you don’t need to drink your milk on the floor, you can drink it at the table. Please stop kicking the cat. Gross! Do NOT pick your nose and eat it… no that’s not funny- do NOT wipe it on me” Once breakfast is finished and it’s time to get out the door, everything slows to a crawl. Suddenly your child has turned into a sloth. Eventually you make it out the door. You child has clothes AND shoes on (Win!) and so do you. Nobody’s hair is perfect and one of you is probably wearing a bit of the breakfast from the morning. THIS is real life. It’s messy, it’s unpredictable, and it’s certainly not “picture perfect”. But you know what, I love it and wouldn’t change it for the world.

I’ve debated on whether or not I should try and stage my photos and make everything look professional and beautiful. Maybe some of my shots, will look this way, but I’ve decided to stick with the shots from my camera phone and the not perfect lighting. Why? Because I created this blog to help people and share information. I also don’t have the time to always make things look like a magazine photo shoot. That requires extra time that would take me away from my family. The photos and blog reflect real life and what it looks like in the moment. My food isn’t perfectly staged before I put it on the table, but you know what??? It tastes DARN GOOD!

I don’t want anyone to come to my site and feel like they can’t live up some perceived standard of perfection. If you want to make lip balm- great! Here’s a recipe. If you don’t want to make lip balm- great! It doesn’t make you less of a person.

My message to you is this: Go out there and live life in all its, dirty, messy, unpredictable glory! Try things and succeed or try things and fail- at least you tried. Love yourself and try not to be so worried about being perfect all the time.

Real Life- Me 90% of the time

Professional Photographer- Me less than 1% of the time